Sunday 27 September 2015

Girl secret: Never do this with a girl you really like.

So you finally met ‘the girl of your dreams’. You lock eyes and sparks fly. You know you like her and you think she likes you too. You bumped into each other again on the walk way and said hello. Good heavens you are in love. You know you want her, but the big question is does she want you? You talked to her and she kept smiling at you and even played with her hair. ‘That must be it’ you think. You exchanged contacts and called her the next day, the conversation was fun. You even clinched a date with her.
Okay, fast-forward to a few days later. She smiled at you or she didn’t smile at you. She laughed at your joke,she didn’t laugh at your joke.

 She returned your call; she didn’t return your call. She held your hand but later saw her talking to another guy. Is he her boyfriend? Now you are not sure if she likes you. You get scared and confused. Frustration and anxiety sets in.



Okay let me lay this straight.  You are falling into the obsession trap. Every woman interested in you wants you to obsess about her. If you obsess about her, then she can control your behavior, if she controls your behavior, then she’s in charge. When she’s in charge, she loses interest because subconsciously you are no longer a challenge. Deep down women crave men that are strong-willed, know what they want, and can’t be tossed around. So she wants to know if you are up to the challenge. In other words: have you got some nerve?
Take good note of this: obsessing about any particular girl, whether or not she likes you is not in your best interest. You can inscribe this on your skull: if you worry too much whether a girl likes you or not, chances are she won’t. This is because your worry and obsession will show in your action and push her away. This obsession with her behaviors and their meanings will destabilize you and suck every ounce of confidence in you. Truth be told, women are not attracted to anxious and insecure guys. Some experienced women exhibit these behaviors deliberately. While the less experienced ones does so intuitively.  It’s all part of their selection/ elimination process. So you are not wrong to be confused by them. They are always inconsistent in their behaviors and always will be.
So given women’s inconsistencies in their romantic behavior, here is an advice for you: don’t try to read, analyze, or obsess over a girl you are really into. If you are attracted to a girl and really want to get to know her, then just assume she’s attracted to you too and act with this belief. Assume that she likes you and would like to know you better even when she throws out those negative vibes.
If you just assume that she likes you, then you will actually increase the chances that she will eventually like you because you will project positive, optimistic behaviors and thoughts. She’ll pick up on these and get to like you. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you are obsessing about the signs and allow these signs to control your behaviors, thoughts and emotions, you have basically lost control of the situation and that’s not attractive. You are pushing her away. However if you just assume that she likes you but doesn’t want to show it, and refuse to be controlled by all her signs, you take charge of the situation. You are relaxed and exude confidence. You project the positive vibes that’ll make her more interested in you.
So never obsess over any woman. Reject the thought of her not liking you every time the feeling crawls up.  Simply assume that she likes you and act in accordance with your belief. Refuse to be controlled by her little negative signs. Always stay positive and she will eventually like you. (Ladies if you feel something is missing in this post, share your opinion in the comment box).

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